Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Poop Check II: Poop and Trade

WASHINGTON - As Congress begins the process of considering the new proposed environmental legislation, many questions have been raised. The legislation would ban toilets from private homes and require people to use special, environmentally friendly public restrooms. It would also tax people, based upon their output.

The Colitis lobby has objected to this saying that such a tax would be unfair to their members and others that, through no fault of their own, have an above normal output. The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and a number of other disease related organizations have joined with the Colitis lobby.

In, response to this, Senator Arlan Spector (turncoat- Penn) has offered a novel solution which has been dubbed "poop and trade". In hope of convincing conservatives to support the legislation, Spector suggested that we let the market work out this inequity. In the new version of bill, an output baseline would be established. Those who don't use all their quota will be given poop credits which they can sell to those who need extra credits.

In spite of a tepid public response, most members of congress are still confident of final passage of the measure. Rep. Barny Frank (F-Mass), stated that he is exited about the new public restrooms, stating that they "will be a great place to make new friends."

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